The first paragraph starts off strong. The author states the point of his entire post right off the bat. The man hates reading. He justifies this by stating that he does not finding reading interesting. He then likens reading to “boring crap”, clearly opposed to entertaining crap. He claims that he would rather sit around and do nothing than read a book. This sends a strong image of the author sitting there staring at a wall, all the while having more fun than reading. He ends the paragraph by personifying reading and claiming it “sucks”.

By saying he does a “weird” thing when he reads, the author sends an eerie sensation to the reader. The reader is forced to wonder what the “weird” thing is. Perhaps he screams while reading? Maybe he does a jig whenever the word “sun” comes up in the text? Then he promptly squashes the readers’ assumptions by telling us directly what the thing is. With clever diction, the author confuses us with the next two lines, and then clarifies it at the end. With this, we get the sensation that we too have been daydreaming and don’t remember what we have read.

The author then explains that not all reading is bad. He says that reading, in fact, is quite tolerable sometimes. He gives us an example, subtitles in movies. The author then tells us that reading large blocks of text with no pictures is unbearable. With clever diction, the author makes “text” sound heavy and concrete, giving us the thought that it may be tough and hard. The author then ends the paragraph with a metaphor. The metaphor allows the reader to imagine a long line of people, looking over each other’s shoulders in anticipation, not knowing that their efforts are for naught.

The post ends with a bang. The author informs us that we have been misled into reading what he hates so much; large blocks of text. The author briefly apologizes, leaving the reader stunned at how badly he has been played. It is as if you can hear the faint sound of the author uttering “SUCKA!!!”